Create safety with a “do-over”:-
If things have gotten tense between you and your child, the first priority is always to restore a sense of safety. If your child is acting up, he or she is usually in “fight or flight.” You can help them feel safe again by summoning up all your warmth and compassion. You might begin with a big hug, or at least with a warm smile.
Kids often need physical “refueling” to feel connected, so the easiest way to reconnect with your child is often to grab a book and snuggling on the couch reading to them for a few minutes. For an older child, try plopping down on the couch with them and giving a foot rub.
Get back in sync with your child using play:-
A child cannot resist an invitation to play, at least once they feel safe. Play reconnects us by triggering connection hormones like oxytocin. And if your child is acting out, laughter is often the perfect way to help her shift the stress hormones that are making her tense and difficult. Every child needs plenty of hearty laughter every day. Of course, if you are feeling tense, play will be the last thing you want to do. So always start with shifting your own mood first. Then, ease into it. You don’t have to put on a circus act. Just aim for a lighter tone.
Look for a win-win solution:-
Focus on what really matters, not on controlling your child to get your way. If you are in a stand-off, reconnect with your child by acknowledging what your child wants at the same time that you clarify what you need. If you can actually see the situation from your child’s perspective, you have just reconnected, even if you cannot give them exactly what they want.
Empathize and Listen:-
And what if your child doesn’t respond to play? It may be that he is beyond laughter right now. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that he is just a kid, looking to you for love and support. Even if you do not agree with him, acknowledge things from his perspective.